Your Leadership Shadow

I wonder if you’re aware of how big a shadow you cast as a leader.

By that, I mean the impact of what you say, do, and reinforce — and equally, what you don’t say, do, or reinforce.

I read a story about a CEO who applauded his employees for making extreme personal sacrifices — like selling the family dog so they could be in the office full time.

What was that leader saying and reinforcing?

That it's not only acceptable to disrupt your family life for your employer’s convenience, but that such behavior would be recognized and rewarded. And of course, this pushes people toward extreme, heroic actions — which almost always end in burnout and resentment.

That CEO later realized how large a shadow he cast when a video of his comments at the town hall went viral. For his sake, I hope he learned the lesson.

There’s an article by Eleanor Hawkins in Axios that describes several stories like this — tone-deaf business leaders whose unintended messages had real consequences. It's worth a read.

Most leaders are unaware of the shadow they cast.

I’ve been in meetings where the boss expressed disappointment with nothing more than a raised eyebrow or a sigh. And after that? People panicked.

You don’t have to tell people to work themselves to the brink — you just need to signal displeasure, and they'll get the message:
"Things better change, or there’ll be trouble."

That’s not straight communication. That’s manipulation. And it’s poor leadership.

A real-world example

I’m currently working with a corporation to improve their safety performance. They're making a genuine effort.

One of our suggestions was to interview both their staff and their suppliers to identify where safety issues might be rooted — especially around schedule pressure, which is often a key contributor to safety risks.

Interestingly, only a small percentage of the internal staff admitted to applying schedule pressure. They believed the safety issues were mostly with the suppliers.

But the suppliers said something else entirely:
They universally agreed that the biggest safety issue was the schedule pressure from the client.

This was eye-opening for the corporation’s managers:
"We don’t pressure our suppliers!" they said.

But here’s the truth — it doesn’t matter what they believe.
Through emails, tone of voice, urgency in meetings, and subtle cues, they were sending a very clear message. And to their credit, these leaders recognized it. They accepted the shadow they cast and opened up honest conversations. As a result, things began to improve.

The values you preach aren’t enough — it’s what you tolerate that matters.

I’ve seen companies where leaders allow high-performing “stars” to behave badly.

Meanwhile, the company has values posted on the walls:
Respect. Dignity. Integrity. Excellence.

But if a leader fails to reinforce these values — and tolerates poor behavior — it casts a shadow that says the opposite.

That’s when resentment builds. Undermining behavior festers. Quiet quitting spreads. And performance suffers.

Leaders: your shadow is real.

Most leaders I work with want to be more aware of the shadow they cast. It’s always there — and it needs to be managed.

That means being a straight communicator, not a manipulator.
And that requires intentional development and practice.

I hope this has been helpful. If you’re interested in learning how to develop these leadership skills, I’d be happy to talk.

Otherwise, see you next time.

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